BUANASENI

Title: Melangkah III
Medium: Photography
Photographer: Johan Ishak
Model: Johan Ishak
Time/Date: 2:35pm; 31 Dec 2010
Venue: Masjid Sultan Salahuddin
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Title: Melangkah II
Medium: Photography
Photographer: Johan Ishak
Model: Daniel Ariff
Time/Date: 2:30pm; 31 Dec 2010
Venue: Masjid Sultan Salahuddin
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Title: Melangkah
Medium: Photography
Photographer: Johan Ishak
Model: Johan Ishak
Time/Date: 10:30am; 19 Dec 2010
Venue: Mid Valley Mega Mall, KL
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Title: Prince the Cat
Medium: Photography
Photographer: Johan Ishak
Model: Prince the Cat
Time/Date: 10:00am; 19 Dec 2010
Venue: 24 Jln 13/11C Shah Alam




ATS, I am allergic to. Almost all of my family members are allergic to cats. To make things complicated, I got married to a family that loves cats. To set the record straight, I don't hate cats. I love cats. I am just allergic to them. I do play around with cats,... but not for too long. The fur attacks my nose like an Iraqi scud. Nevertheless, I always have Rinafort to help ease my sinus attacks,.. but, I get drowsy and go to sleep. So, if I play with cats, you can expect me to sleep afterwards,.. and don't even think of asking me to drive.

Lately, somehow, I have a cat that sleeps, dine and shit at my backyard but disappears for adventures outside if he is not doing any of those 3. Although he does spend sometime looking at my fishes in the aquarium and he runs off when my boy, Daniel, goes after him. This cat is probably mix Persian and something else. We call him Prince. Every night when I am back from work, Prince come by and looks at me. Guess what, we exchange brain waves and what was transpired in that exchange is decoded in the below so called 'conversations':


ME: Not quite sure what breed are you. Bengal-Persian I was told though
PRINCE: (Sounds like they'll be making carpets out of me)

ME: Oh man, look at fungal on your eye! I'm bringing you to the Vet
PRINCE: (It's not fungal lah, I had a fight last nite)

ME: Hey! Can you help me with this deferred tax problem?
PRINCE: Miowww
ME: Hey! that's a good idea. Why didn't I think of that?

ME: Whatcha lookin at?!
PRINCE: (Your fat tummy)

ME: Hey you have cockroaches eating your food!
PRINCE: (That's how crappy the things you give me. I want Kurau please)

ME: Go get a girlfriend will yer?
PRINCE: (Blastard, for what? They cut my birdie long time ago)

ME: Why are you so cherpy today?
PRINCE: (My cousin is here Malaysia. His name is Cat Stevens)

ME: Why do you always have to come home late?
PRINCE: (Hmmm... What are you doing up so late?)

ME: Ahah, the maid is back from Indon. I don't have to deal with u now
PRINCE: (I prefer ladies serving me anyway)

ME: Aiyo, how will u survive without me huh?
PRINCE: (No worries, I have 8 more lives at my disposal)

ME: What are you? Persian? Somalian?
PRINCE: (Malaysian you fool! I was born in Bangi)

ME: Hey you fat cat! Come here!
PRINCE: (Look who's talking)

ME: Oooo.... look there, little Daniel is approaching!
PRINCE: (Oh shit! It's the menace! Help! Help me!)

ME: Why the hell did you poo on the floor?
PRINCE: (Last I remembered, the litter was there. Why did you change its location?)

ME: Prince, come inside now!
PRINCE: (Call me King, then I'll go inside)

ME: Prince, your fur is triggering my sinus! Damn!
PRINCE: (Yeah, yeah, blame me for your weaknesses, sucker!)

VET: The fungal turns red. Don't be alarmed. It's the blood vessel bringing medication to the infected areas
PRINCE: (Don't be alarmed??!! I'm half blind you asshole)

WIFEY: Why are you taking so long to lock the gate?
ME: Errrr.. I was talking to Prince
PRINCE: (Take that! Hahahahah)

SEELAN PAUL: Ooo! Patutlah lambat submit presentation, rupa-rupanya you have to present it to your cat first
ME: Errrrr... heh....

" ....... Cats are amazing. They listen to your talks like they know what's happening "
Quotation by Geordjoe

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LAGENDA BUDAK SETAN











Title: Lagenda Budak Setan
Type: Movie
Genre: Malay Romantic Comedy or Romantic Drama (depends)
Year: 2010
Length: 1 hour 40++ minutes
Writer: Ahadiat Akashah
Producers: Sharad Sharan, Renu Sharan & Jailani Abd Ghani
Directors: Sharad Sharan, Renu Sharan & Tengku Dato' Anuar Mussaddad
In association with: Nusantara Films & Tarantella Pictures
Main Casts: Farid Kamil, Lisa Surihani, Que Haidar, Nur Fazura & Raja Farah

Y first impression of the movie was, "sweet" but once I start comparing to Ali Setan back in the 80's, a flood of critical comments came to mind. The question is, "Is this a re-live of Ali Setan?" This type of movie can never escape the comparison to or being benchmarked to previous efforts on romantic comedy. Unless viewers choose to ignore the comedy part and concentrate on the melancholy of it all. Actually, that is the problem. What is this movie trying to represent? Romantic comedy or not? The introduction of the romeo Kashah in the college scene, being the nasty boy, similar to that of Ali in Ali Setan, did not quite complete the feel.

The movie started off suggesting to viewers that you will see a lot of nasty habits by the Kashah guy simultaneously giving rise to viewers' expectation of a re-live of Ali Setan. But to my disappointment, I did not get that Ali Setan feel. Perhaps it was meant not to mirror Ali Setan but to only tease viewers of it. If it was meant to mimick Ali Setan, I think, they should have extended the movie to explore more on Kashah's nasty character(s), especially towards women. Nevertheless, Farid Kamil managed to pull off that chicky look despite his lack of experience to look natural in front of the camera (a lot of stiff postures and movements).

..... Lisa, very gentle in her movement, speech, smile and feel. Gone are the days of Azian Irdawaty crying with tears or dramatic emotions of Ogy Ahmad Daud.

Ayu, the sweet child Juliet of the movie, was nicely acted by Lisa Surihani but of course, no where close to Ogy Ahmad Daud in Ali Setan. The good difference between Lisa and Ogy is that, Ogy had too much of a Tom Boyish appeal whereas Lisa, very gentle in her movement, speech, smile and feel. I suppose this is what killed the "comedy" part of the movie and perhaps, ought to be labeled as Romantic Drama instead. Not that there is anything wrong with that. The character Ayu carries heavy load of melancholy with a pinch of happiness sporadically. Lisa managed to carry that character via her facial expression especially the eyes and lips bit. That subtlety yet adequate expression is all that is required to touch the hearts of the viewers. Gone are the days of Azian Irdawaty crying with tears or dramatic emotions of Ogy Ahmad Daud. Well done! (but Lisa has a lot to learn. Somehow she lacks maturity in acting, but a damn good start I would say).

Que Haidar is probably the best actor in this movie. His fierce face and chronic retarded character expression is probably what you'd imagine when you read the original book written by Ahadiat Akashah. Simply superb. He potrayed maturity and flexibility of an actor to diverse it's ability. Reminded me a lot of Nasir Bilal Khan in 'Perempuan, Isteri dan Jalang' where his theatre experiences were transformed into film acting. That psychotic and disturbed feeling that you get from Que Haidar shows that his acting is effective.

The rest of the casts, Fazura and Raja Farah, did what had to be done to complement the 3 main actors. The actress that replaced Lisa lack the continuation of Ayu's character. This is probably a difficult one. How do you get the same feel of a character from a different actress? I wouldn't want to spoil your viewing if you haven't watched this movie by saying why I have such expectation. Nevertheless, when you watch the movie, you will understand why I expect the replacement actress to give the viewers the same feel as Lisa Surihani.

I started off my review by comparing to Ali Setan and indirectly concluded that it should not have been so. It is a sad movie. A sad movie that exaggerated bad luck in a sweet lady's life, almost like how Nur Kasih is. In my opinion, this is also a problem. Just now we killed off the character "comedy" in the movie. And now, we are about to kill the character "romantic". Why do I say that? Well, it is a sad sad movie. How can I possibly label it as a Romantic movie? The love scenes and build up of the chemistry between Kashah and Ayu is so lacking that the movie did not even complete its intension to tell a love story. Instead, it tells a sad story. A tragedy, just like Puteri Gunung Ledang.

Why would you name the movie Lagenda Budak Setan when you lack the expression on the term 'Budak Setan' itself?

Now I am compelled to benchmark against Ali Setan again. If you remember, Ali Setan was truly a love story. The happy moments acted by Ogy Ahmad Daud and Azmil Mustafa made it an epitome love story telling. Then of course, you may have the sad moments afterwards. No doubt one can argue that Ali Setan had a happy ending unlike Lagenda Budak Setan, I still feel that had Lagenda Budak Setan extended its happy plots on the love between Kashah and Ayu, it would have given a full meaning to this movie, if it was to be regarded as a 'Love Story'. In addition, as mentioned in my first paragraph, a more extensive plot on the nasty character of Kashah would have also given the appropriate feel to the title of the movie. Why would you name the movie Lagenda Budak Setan when you lack the expression on the term 'Budak Setan' itself?

Overall, for the general mass Malay viewers, I expect them to give two thumbs up, simply because it is a sad movie and the much celebrated Farid Kamil and Lisa Surihani, both whom I think, show potential to go far in the local film industry. Well done!

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Wedding of

Johari Ishak
Shikin Hairuddin

Kelab Shah Alam
4 December 2010




ADDRESS

Bismillah Hirrahman Nirrahim. Assalamualaikum Warahmaruyllahi Wabarakatuh dan Salam Sejahtera.

Yang Mulia, Tengku Tengku. Yang Berbahagia Tan Sri / Puan Sri / Dato’ / Datin / Tuan / Puan / Sanak Saudara sekelian.

Bagi pihak Tuan Rumah, Dato Ishak Ariff, saya ingin merakamkan jutaan terima kasih atas kesudian para hadirin meraikan bersama kami Majlis Perkahwinan Johari dan Shikin. Kehadiran Tuan Tuan dan Puan Puan sememangnya memeriahkan lagi hari yang bermakna ini.

Tuan Tuan dan Puan Puan, izinkan saya meneruskan ucapan saya di dalam Bahasa Inggeris, Terima Kasih.


INTRO

A wedding is an occasion, a joyous occasion. But for a spokes person like me, it is highly stressful for I have stage fright and this is my first time doing it. By God’s will, when my son get’s married, Johari, you will be forced to be the spokes person. Just remember that!

Normally a spokes person will introduce the Pengantins from the day they were born. In this case, I have a special privilege. I will start from whence Johari was inside our mother’s womb

The Malay race has always been an advocate of “courtesy” as evident in their generosity in giving out Bunga Telurs and their art of negotiations using Pantuns to avoid confrontation but yet deliver their intended messages. In Johari’s case, well, he was courteous since before he was born.

The Malays believe that when twins are born, the one who sees the light of day first is the younger one. This is so because the elder twin will allow his younger sibling to go first as a gesture of courtesy. So I guess, Johari must have been courteous to me. Now, this is Johari’s first mistake in life even before he commenced his life. Why? Well, legally, I became the elder one regardless of what the Malay believes. So Joe, thanks for kicking me out.


HISTORY

So 1975 was the year. Old folks often warn their pregnant daughters to not do or say unnecessary or inappropriate things. In our case, our beloved mother had to watch Muhammad Ali and Joe Bugner box each other,.. and when the twins were delivered, you know what happened.

Johari and I, we grew up together, from Minden Heights in Penang, this fantastic city called Shah Alam, as well as in the bording school they call STAR in Ipoh.

Later we went our own ways. I was sent to a land downunder where they send convicts; whereas Johari was sent to the Land of Angels up north where kings and queens dine in castles and palaces. How lucky.

In England, Johari learnt how to value things. I didn’t know that to value things, you need a Bachelors Degree. But apparently you do. So Johari started to learn how to value things in England and later extended his learning in UiTM Shah Alam. So there you go, God created things, and there was Johari to value it. He became a Valuer.

This art of valuing things evolved into the realm of capital markets. Hence Johari now enjoys a good living at CIMB Wealth Advisor where he helps others value their wealth by growing them. A courteous character that is probably an extension of allowing his younger sibling to escape Alcatraz 35 years ago.

Anyways, talking about valuing things, today, or a week ago to be exact, there is a different perspective to it. You (Johari) are now required to value life. What does that mean really? Well it’s simple really. You now have to value your life companion, i.e. Shikin.

When Shikin cooks, you value her by saying “Hmm Sedap”. When Shikin is sick, you value her by making hot soup, not Maggi mee. When it is 27 November, you value her with anniversary dinners (make sure you mark your diary because if you don’t, she will show you what valuation really means). When it is her birthday or 14 February, bring her to British India. And the sweetest of all, you will value Shikin like you never valued her before, is when she gives you babies that will end their names with Bin or Binti Johari. Insya Allah Amin.

There is a saying I learnt from the internet. It goes like this:

Women were not created from Men’s hair nor were they created from Men’s feet. Women were created from Men’s ribs so that they don’t step on Men’s head nor are they meant to be stepped by Men. They are meant to be by Men’s side, to be protected and to be loved

HERSTORY

Shikin is the best sister-in-law so far, well she is the only one so far (a hint to the younger brother). Born in Port Dickson Negeri Sembilan, and was brought up in Jelebu. Her schooling days were in King George V in Seremban and later worked in various companies and countries as Public Relations officer. Guess where she is now? Well, you’ve guessed it, CIMB Wealth Advisors. That is where Johari and Shikin learn to value each other, apart from valuing investments for the Malaysian market that rose from GDP of negative 2% to positive 6% over the last 2 years.

What advise can I give you as a brother in-law? Well, here goes:

When Johari is hungry, he is not fuss. Rice with Daging Kicap and Sambal Tumis Tauhu will suffice (Note that Tauhu will be known as TauKua to you from today onwards). When Johari is back from work looking tired and what not, give him a smile. When Johari is sick, well, it’s your turn to do the hot soup, and not Maggi mee. When Johari faces problems, you stand by his side support him. As I mentioned earlier, Shikin, you are his ribs; because, you are entrusted to protect his heart (both emotionally as well as the cholesterol level). And that would put you at a special place by his side. While you are at it, make the ribs well-done because Johari, he does not take medium-rare steaks.

Shikin,

Bapak, Mak, Abang Fauzi, Kak Ita, Kush, Lina and myself (oh sorry I forget, there is also Faiq, Firdaus, Fauzana and Daniel and the entire Ariff and Arshad clan from the Island of Penang); we are honoured to welcome you into the family. It’s a big family but hey, it only means God is being generous to you.


TO THE PENGANTINS

To both Johari and Shikin, I have introduced the two of you to the floor and I have also given you motivational advices. What you have to do in return is to cherish the marriage. Our family has grown bigger and merrier thanks to the two of you. We look forward to interesting contributions that you can offer to this family. Whilst the other 2 in-laws contributed Ikan Patin from Sungai Pahang and Ayam Kampong from Bangi, we expect you to deliver nothing less than Masak lemak Chili Api from Negeri Sembilan.


CLOSING

I think I have been mumbling too long here. When body language from the floor suggests that my speech is like a politician who don’t mean what they say and don’t say what they mean, it means that I should stop. However, please do allow me a short poem. Here goes:

Itik Serating Ayam Belanda
Masak Kari Nasi Kandar
Johari dan Shikin Segak Belaka
Mengakhiri Zaman Teruna dan Dara

Dato Ishak, Datin Latifah
Lega Melihat Dua Mempelai
Tapi Ingat Bila Balik Rumah
Ada Si Bongsu Belum Selesai

Secangkir Kopi Semanis Puan
Segelas Sarbath dari Tanjung
Terima Kasih Puan dan Tuan
Budi Dikenang Jasa Dijunjung

Sebelum saya mengundur diri, ingin saya menyusun sepuluh jari meminta maaf sekiranya terdapat apa apa kekurangan pada majlis yang tidak sebarapa ini.

Saya sudahi ucapan saya dengan kalimah suci Wabilllahi Taufik Walhidayah Wassalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh dan Selamat Sejahtera.

Terima Kasih




Johan Ishak